Today we are writing something a bit different than what you can expect from us. We usually write comprehensive guides on roadmapping or the biggest glossary of product management terms in the world. Instead, this week we want to make your week a bit brighter with our 25 favorite geeky jokes that product people will absolutely love.
So without further ado, let's get started!
1. What’s the hardest part of being a product manager? Explaining what you do to your parents.
2. A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.
3. How many Project managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they are all still discussing the best way to do it.
4. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem.
5. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#
6. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.
7. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol place.
8. Boolean satisfiability
9. How many marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?
10. Digital transformation
11. Research reveals that in 2020 the first three most said phrases in the world are: I love you, can everyone see my screen and I forgot my mask.
12. A product manager is very much like a marriage counselor. They both just get people in the room and force them to talk to each other and listen to each other until the problem disappears.
13. Product manager: “Why are you running into so many problems? ” Me: “Welcome to software development.”
14. Remote work bingo
15. How many scrum masters does it take to screw a lightbulb? Idk, let’s vote on it.
16. What is the issue with the product backlog item? It's a long story.
17. It’s important to use MoSCoW when you prioritize your stories—you wouldn’t want to Russia into anything.
18. Welcome to agile where stories are made up and the points don't matter.
19. Agile certification
20. We are going to try something which is called Agile programming. “That means no more planning no more documentation just start writing code and complaining”. I’m glad it has a name.
21. Why was the developer unhappy at their job? They wanted arrays.
22. The swing
23. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
24. An optimist says “The glass is half full.” A pessimist says “The glass is half empty.” A programmer says “The glass is twice as large as necessary.”
25. A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread. “They had eggs.”